Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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