Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
