I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
