Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
