Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
