No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
