Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
