he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
