sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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