high people should be assigned attendants
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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