Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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