the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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