farters have to be the big spoon...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
