I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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