windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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