I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
