It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
