an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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