How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
did i just pee glitter
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
