Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
