so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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