The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
