it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
