Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
