The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
