what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
