all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
