best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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