Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
