I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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