your thong is hanging out like whoa
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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