she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Houston, we have a squirter
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
