just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
