He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
MIDGETS
????
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
