I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
