i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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