piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
