Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
