Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
