Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
