we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Girls should come with a carfax report
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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