Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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