ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
