As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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