we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
