The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
