That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
