VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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