White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
