my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize