I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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