He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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