Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
