What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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