Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize