She said her name was "party"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
