Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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