I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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