Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
