got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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