he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
