the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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