He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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